I have been working with actors for many years and always notice how most of them struggle with fear of failures and how to build confidence about themselves. 

Very often in my conversations, even when students actors know their lines, and they have time to develop their character and to rehearsal, they assume that they have everything under control and reason to few confident in themselves. 

Let’s say you did your home work, you really put effort in your process and spend a lot of time you took very passionate care for this  character that you invite into your life. But than it didn’t work in the way you expect. Something didn’t’ click very well. 

It could fill very upsetting  or  and frustrating really unhappy with a bad result, and start to ask what happening. Right the way you think that In fact something still missing in the process. 

We have the tendency fix our thinking in the goal, and don’t have patience with bad results. We are educated and trained to accept the  winning situation, because we expect to (or depend upon) be reward for that, and have a intense pleasure and believe that is the only way to get what we need, connection, understanding untimely forms of express and few love. In the other side, the failure represents the opposite, pain and punishment. A complete absence of connection, understanding and love. 

I am not exoteric when I talk about love. Our needs vary and change all the time. We have basic needs like food, shelter as well as the need of connection, be heard or understood. from a very specific to a more general ones, the top need the most important is love. 

I would like to frame my idea of love. Love is everywhere, is like the air. We don’t really make love to happening . We just face our limitations, especially the ones make us feel fear, and love replace the space that you open. Like a glass full of water, as soon as you drink some, the air just fill the space. Love is the stillness that take place after you face your pain and fear and deal with them.

Confidence is build upon accepting our limitations and see our mistakes as a very important means of learning about ourselves. Is the shifting in consciousness where the actor define the deference in between learning or judging  oneself.  Acceptance is the first step. Compassion for ourselves as well as the people around us.

Below is some of the main areas to work with:

1. Learn to deal with pain (especially emotional pain)

2. Learn to understand our conscious/unconscious habits and priorities

3. Learn to keep the attention in the process instead of the end goal

4. Learn to accept failures as learn process , not something to be used against oneself

The basic 5 points to develop control upon oneself:

• Awareness – the knowledge and understanding about our habits and conditioning.
• Pause or Inhibition – the ability to stop before you take any position or initiative.
• Direction – The clear decision in how you are going to proceed. How we organize our whole self, specially mind and body interconnection.
• Feelings – understand what do you feel in the moment.
• Needs – after realize feeling which needs you would like to fulfill.